Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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