do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
