I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
