saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
