Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So squirting runs in the family.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize