Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
