I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
