Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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