$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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