Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
