He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize