My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
