He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
