Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I am spending my child support on dildos
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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