i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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