just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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