Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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