You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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