so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
