I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
