I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
