The maid of honor just puked.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
