I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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