it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
