just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
