Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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