I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I understand Curling. That high.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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