I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We're too hungover to prance.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
