I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
