no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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