that's an acceptable place to lick
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
