My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize