Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize