Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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