im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize