I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
