you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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