I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
