you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
