She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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