Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
