I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
