Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You left your underwear on the fireplace
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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