So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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