There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
