Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
