have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
