Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
