She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
