i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
