There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize