I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize