dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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