Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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