his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
