Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
