I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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