Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
