I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize