sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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