and next time when you feel me up, do it right
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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