We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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