just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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