its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
