i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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