He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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