I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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