Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
