i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
