If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
