i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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