You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
